


what to do when: you get slammed with — ew — feelings after being horny on main

by crowkeeper



Category: Fullmetal Alchemist - All Media Types
Genre: Anal Fingering, Anal Sex, Bottom Roy Mustang, Domestic, M/M, Plot What Plot/Porn Without Plot, and made way for domestic bickering lmao, hi yes i understand why those tags together are. confusing, its bc when i was trying 2 end this fic properly my horny vibes left the chat, or. uh. the realization that they're domestic as fuck ig
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-29
Updated: 2020-11-29
Packaged: 2021-03-09 20:34:57
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,586
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27772357
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/crowkeeper/pseuds/crowkeeper
Summary: roy’s a slut. this isn’t — new information, or anything, becauseeverybodyin the military is aware of roy’s reputation, the one that he can’t use to get himself out of the trouble he really shouldn’t even know about in the first place.or — well, actually, roycouldprobably use that reputation to convince people to go along with his bullshit, if they’re a little too horny and heard a little too many things about roy and roy’s fingers can slip into their pants quick enough, but. that’s not the point.roy’s a slut. ed’s known this since he was fifteen and a little too interested in his CO for it to be purely professional, but it’s one thing to know it and an entirely different thing to have proof of it right before his eyes, writhing on his fingers.
Relationships: Edward Elric/Roy Mustang
Comments: 27
Kudos: 107





	what to do when: you get slammed with — ew — feelings after being horny on main

**Author's Note:**

> BIG thank you 2 my beta for betaing this bc i wrote this at 3am utterly sleep deprived. she did it while tired as fuck too so extra thanks xoxo

roy’s a slut. this isn’t — new information, or anything, because _everybody_ in the military is aware of roy’s reputation, the one that he can’t use to get himself out of the trouble he really shouldn’t even know about in the first place.

or — well, actually, roy _could_ probably use that reputation to convince people to go along with his bullshit, if they’re a little too horny and heard a little too many things about roy and roy’s fingers can slip into their pants quick enough, but. that’s not the point.

roy’s a slut. ed’s known this since he was fifteen and a little too interested in his CO for it to be purely professional, but it’s one thing to know it and an entirely different thing to have proof of it right before his eyes, writhing on his fingers.

“fuck, you’re pretty,” ed says. it’s not entirely intentional, tumbles out before he can stop himself, but roy clenches around his fingers when he says it, groans all rough when he does, so instead of being something that makes ed scowl with the knowledge that roy’ll smugly hold his words against him later it’s something that ed makes a careful note of.

“i know,” roy says, lips curling into a familiar little smirk. he’s cocky even as he rolls his hips back on ed’s fingers, cocky even though ed’s already wrung two consecutive orgasms out of him tonight with nothing but his fingers, and it’s incredibly aggravating and incredibly hot all at once, _somehow_.

ed feels a little like he’s going to lose his mind.

ed huffs. “humble, too,” he drawls, sarcastic, and jabs his fingers into roy’s prostate in just the right way to shut him up before he opens that fucking mouth of his again.

because that’s the thing — roy’s always been a mouthy asshole, always had a quip or two or three to counter ed’s own, and that trait of his carried over to the bedroom even if his air of authority didn’t. it pissed ed off then and it pisses ed off _now_ , because for all his genius he’d never figured out a way to make his annoying CO _shut the fuck up_. but now that their clothes are off and the thin veneer of their relationship being nothing but professional is gone, making roy shut his goddamn mouth is something that ed can actually _do_.

preferably with his cock, because it’s always fun to make roy choke on it, and watching him yell — or try to, at least — the next day with a ruined throat is, like, fifty percent of the reason ed’s still even a dog in the military, to be honest. 

but, if not with his cock, then just fucking gagging him — which, despite the fact that he’s never _not_ running his mouth, is something that roy is surprisingly agreeable to — is still on the table, or, if not, already in roy’s mouth.

roy makes a sound of frustration in the back of his throat, steadily rocking his hips back on ed’s slow fingers, and says “fuck, can’t you go any faster? i’m going to rock myself to sleep here.” and he _knows_ that ed’ll be that much more resistant to doing what he wants if he’s impatient, but he keeps doing it anyway because he wants to piss ed off more than he wants to get his way. 

past ed — five years ago, specifically — would have said that there’s nothing colonel bastard would like more than to get his way, but now-ed knows that his need to be an asshole — even at the expense of pleasure — is something that ranks higher than everything else in his life, even his goddamn pride. which is something that ed is going to reduce to scraps roy can’t even grasp at by the end of the night, if he has anything to say about it — which he _very much_ does.

“you always want to go to sleep, bastard,” ed scoffs. “it’s not exactly a failing on _my_ part if you do fall asleep. it’s _yours_.”

it _would_ offend him, though.

roy makes this sound when ed’s nails catch on his rim when he pulls his fingers out, sharp and involuntary and definitely cutting off the start of a sentence that would probably result in them having an argument in the middle of fucking — _again_. roy jerks, a little, spasms on the bed, and it’s something ed'd like to see again more than he’d like to have roy collect himself enough to snipe back. he slides the head of his thumb in, presses down, sharp, and drags it back out, pulls at roy’s stretched rim in the way that inevitably has roy muffling his moan into the bed, which — 

“if you’d wanted to be gagged you should have just _said,_ ” ed remarks, tone blase in a way he sure as fuck doesn’t _feel_ at the moment, and manoeuvres roy with the kind of ease that made roy discover his strength kink in the first place. 

their new position is like this: with roy, on his knees as naked as the day he was born, and with ed, sitting on their bed fully clothed. this one, astonishingly enough, is not a kink of roy’s but instead a kink of ed’s — there’s just something about being fully clothed while his partner is pointedly _not_ that gets him going.

“it means you have a thing for power play,” roy had said, more than a little mocking when ed had mentioned it, but then he’d grinned quick and inviting at ed and purred, “good thing so do i.”, so in the end ed hadn’t taken too much offense at his tone.

“if you’d wanted to get your dick sucked you should have just _said_ ,” roy parrots, smirking, and then ed fists roy’s meticulously groomed hair in a too-tight metal hand and shoves him down on his cock.

roy goes willingly even as he gags, throat spasming around the sudden intrusion, and ed lets him have a quick second to pull back from his cock and breathe before he’s dragging him back down again. roy’s told him that he likes it when ed uses his throat like it’s simply _there_ to fit around ed’s cock like a vice — _it’s overwhelming in the best way,_ he’d said, sure in what he’d just said in a way that ed couldn’t have hoped to be then and barely is now. ed had snorted and said _i think you’re just a kinky bastard_ but after that conversation he’d started being a little more careless with roy than he was before.

which was possibly the best thing he could have done, because roy likes pain with his pleasure quite a bit, the fucking _weirdo_ that he is. ed doesn’t really get why not using quite enough lube when fingering roy gets the reactions it does from him, but clearly it does something for _roy_ and it’s not like ed’s _adverse_ to it, or anything, so he does it anyway.

compromise, and all that. 

ed sure doesn’t feel like he’s _giving anything up,_ though, and he’s reasonably sure that’s a part of compromising, but roy’s mouth is tight and wet and gloriously hot around him so he can’t _really_ be “reasonably expected” to know anything right now.

roy’s mouth is stretched around ed’s cock and he’s choking when ed shoves him down to the base when he doesn’t expect it, but he _still_ looks so fucking cocky, like he could be crowned fuhrer and he’d look the exact same way as he does right now on ed’s cock. like ed can’t steadily, carefully break him down and then build him back together again, like ed hasn’t already done that before and plans to do it now. 

ed’s hand is still loosely fisting roy’s hair, and he tightens his fingers to lift roy’s head off his cock, makes roy crane his neck back to look him straight in the eye. it’s a beautiful arch, yeah, but the one roy falls into when ed’s fucking him open in the way that renders roy incapable of doing anything but just staying there and _taking_ it is a better one.

“c’mere,” ed says, letting roy’s hair go so he can pull him up onto his lap. roy settles there comfortably, spreading his legs so that his thighs bracket ed’s own. 

he looks ruined, almost. like he’s on the brink of it and he just needs one tiny helping hand to tip him over. 

ed’s going to be that helping hand. one of them might be automail but he’s got _two_ , even.

“ed,” roy says, and it’s meant to be a complaint, meant to be more forceful than it is, but all it is is plaintive, really. he’s probably aching for it by now, probably wants to shift himself so he can sink down on ed’s cock, and ed’s not _cruel_ but he can be a little bit mean. “ _ed._ ”

ed grins up at him, hands coming up to wrap around roy’s waist. the cool metal of his hand makes the other hiss between his teeth, makes him flinch away from the cold, because he’s practically burning up from the inside out and ed’s automail is decidedly _not._

“yeah, roy?” his tone is deceivingly innocent in a way his grin doesn’t even try to be, and roy pins him with the flattest look he can muster when he’s as close as he ever gets to begging.

“hurry _up_ ,” he says, goes for commanding and ends up somewhere too close to begging for roy’s taste. 

“you can wait,” ed says, nosing along roy’s collarbone and hears his breath catch when he laves his tongue on a particular spot. “patience is a virtue, and all that.”

“it’s one i never learned.” 

ed snorts, thinks _you didn’t learn_ any _of the virtues._ “i’ll teach you sometime.” 

roy looks a little like he wants to set ed on fire. ed snickers, wants to keep not giving roy what he wants for a little longer, but ed’s desire to fuck roy stupid is winning out over his desire to annoy him. “maybe later, though,” he adds, and then drags roy’s hips forward and _slams_ him down on his cock.

roy’s moan is loud, jolts him forward with the force of it like it was punched out of his lungs, and ed hums. “ _listen_ to yourself,” he says, pleased, and glances at the way roy’s eyes are becoming glassy. “oh — no, you’re too far gone for that.”

 _good_ , ed thinks.

ed controls their rhythm, drags roy up and _drops_ him on his cock, and when he hits roy’s prostate dead on roy shudders with the force of it. his mouth is finally, _finally_ shut up — he’s not _quiet_ , no, because there’s no fun in that, but all of his honey-smooth words have been replaced by broken, jagged moans. and ed’s fine with both, even if the first one pisses him off more often than not, but there’s a certain _something_ about the moans roy can’t — and doesn’t seem particularly interested in trying to — stop that make him want to hear them that much more.

ed pinches roy’s nipple harshly and _twists_ , watches his back bow like he could withstand everything he has so far with his back proud and straight but _this_ is what will undo him. it’s — it’s _addicting_ , the pleasure of seeing roy like this and knowing that it’s because of _him_ , knowing that roy prides himself on his composure and yet lets ed break it down into pieces he can’t use as a lifeline and trusts that ed won’t let him drown.

 _that’s so fucking sappy,_ ed thinks, hazy and indignant at his own thoughts, and it _is_ entirely too sappy, but it’s true and it’s what’s undoing ed’s so-far unshakeable composure. he’s drowning in it, drowning in roy and his pleasure and his unspeakably sappy thoughts, and he’s — 

he reaches down to tug at roy’s cock. strokes it one, two, three times, adds a little sharp twist at the end, and roy _crumbles_ , which is good because ed’s fraying composure doesn’t last long after that either.

later, when they’re both lying on roy’s incredibly large and twice as comfortable bed after cleaning themselves up, boneless and sated and sleepy, roy hums contemplatively.

ed groans. “am i not allowed to have _one night_ free of your bullshit?” he complains, and cracks an eye open to glare at roy with distaste that’s entirely too hard to conjure up.

roy grins. his eyes are closed, and he looks perfectly ready to go to sleep, if it wasn’t for the fact that apparently he has something that he wants to say. knowing him, it’s probably something that’ll annoy the fuck out of ed, but not so much so that he musters up the energy to toss roy out of his own bed.

“i was just thinking,” he says, tone mock thoughtful, and steadfastly ignores ed’s grumble of _i didn’t know you could do that._ “that this is incredibly domestic.”

ed peels open his other eye to take an exceptionally long blink. “ _domestic_ ,” he repeats, flat and unamused.

“domestic!” roy agrees cheerfully. he’s grinning. ed’s about to have a crisis about their relationship and he’s _grinning_.

“ _fuck_ you, this isn’t _domestic_ ,” ed snaps, but then his stupid fucking brain decides to compare their relationship to things he does with al — minus the whole _fucking_ thing, of course — and, _fuck, this is so domestic_.

they _take showers together_. more often than not ed stays over at roy’s house after fucking for hours because the stuff he’s got at his house doesn’t hold a candle to roy’s stuff and roy _lets him_ without complaint. 

they _take turns cooking for each other._ ed knows exactly how sweet roy likes his coffee — _sickeningly so_ — and roy knows how to oil his automail for him on the days that he can’t quite muster up the energy to and _what the fuck._

“fuck you,” ed says, eventually, because honestly it’s the only thing he _can_ say to this incredibly unwelcome revelation. domestic. here they are, two of the biggest assholes in the military, and they’re being _domestic_ together. ed’s going to fucking scream.

“you just _did_ , ed, did you forget already?” roy chirps, grinning like a lovesick loon because that’s what he _is_ even though he’s being a _rude ass motherfucker,_ what the fuck, ed _hates it here._ “i mean, i thought _i_ was the one who was supposed to have memory issues — you know, because of my _age_ , did you forget about that too — ”

ed shoves a pillow onto roy’s face. roy, the absolute fuckface, doesn’t shut up like ed so clearly wants him to. 

“ — but, you know, if you’ve already forgotten what we did an hour ago maybe that’s too much to expect from you. i’d be happy to help you jog your memory, though.” he punctuates his offer with an eyebrow waggle that makes ed want to hit something, preferably roy’s face.

 _you like his face_ , ed reminds himself, and then pulls a face at himself because _he likes roy’s face._ disgusting. 

“you’re so fucking _horny_ all the time, you know that?” ed pointedly ignores roy’s shameless _“obviously,”_ with all the ease of someone who deals with this entirely too often. “fuck _off_.”

roy, because he’s contrary like that, doesn’t fuck off. ed can’t really say he minds, but he _does_ mind the fact that he _doesn’t_ mind.

 _domestic_. ew. 

**Author's Note:**

> what up im jared im 19 and i never fucking learned how to write (a consistent fic)
> 
> my characterization is probably incredibly off bc i dont know SHIT abt fma but here i am, writing my first smut fic for this fandom,,,,,,,,this says a lot more abt me as a person than i want it to yikes


End file.
